Every Friday morning, I volunteer at the aquarium. There's a little, under-the-weather pancake tortoise currently hanging out in the treatment room where I collect water samples. Besides his habitat, there's a little sign that reads, "Medication: Sunshine." I would kill for that prescription. Right now I take one, decent-sized pill every morning. I have no idea … Continue reading “let the sun shine in”
Yesterday I took myself out on a date. Nice Voice waltzed into the room out of nowhere, all dashing and electric. "Darling!" She cried. "Put on something nice. I'm going to take you out for an afternoon on the town!" When Nice Voice rolls into town, she's pretty hard to resist. She's just so... well, … Continue reading adventures in self-care, vol 1.
My Netflix show right now is Penny Dreadful. I'm a few episodes into the third season, and I'm already sad that my time with my new spooky pals is so close to the end. I've always loved a good ensemble series; it makes me so happy to be the spectator to fictional friend groups. From … Continue reading a love letter for a monster
The first song I ever heard that I just knew was about me was, weirdly enough, from the Treasure Planet soundtrack. I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway You … Continue reading charting a course
In keeping with my resolution to spend time among things that made me really happy before I started to doubt and dislike myself, I'm really stoked about the Oscars this year. When I was a kid, staying awake to watch the Academy Awards was one of my favorite nights of the year. By middle school, … Continue reading the show goes ever on and on: a nerd’s case for the oscars
My favorite game is "Who Are We In This Franchise?" "Okay, guys, who would we all be in Harry Potter?" "Which Pixar movie is everyone?" "Who is everyone in our office in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?" "Who Are We In This Franchise?" has rules. You can't say what character you think you are; that has … Continue reading searching for myself in all the nerd places
So, here's the essay that inspired the creation of this blog, as well as gave it its name. This essay was first performed onstage at the Highland Inn Ballroom in Atlanta, GA on November 30, 2016. This essay was a part of the awesome live lit show Scene Missing. Thank you to Jason Mallory for … Continue reading video essay: “hope is the thing with lightsabers”
So, I've been on the Therapy Train for a while now. I feel like I've got a pretty decent handle on Sadness. I do not know what to do with Anger, however, which is why I am spending my morning drinking coffee and thinking about the Incredible Hulk. Most of what I know about Dr. … Continue reading gamma radiation in the paris metro
It's been a tough couple of weeks. But I know I'm ultimately pretty lucky. I have a great therapist and a really amazing support network of friends, and I'm going to see the psychiatrist again next week to talk about how this first medication adventure is going. Still, I remain desperate for a quicker fix; … Continue reading looking on the geeky bright side
I think I feel "okay?" I don't really know what that means. I think it's been two weeks since I felt madly, truly, deeply depressed. Or manic. I feel "okay." Right now I'm sitting at my desk, listening to music and snarfing down a bowl of popcorn, and that feels fine. I could be doing … Continue reading … and the philosopher’s mood stabilizer?
The following essay made its debut onstage at Write Club Atlanta on February 28, 2015. When I returned home from school on December 17, 2003, my day was only just beginning. Bouncing with a ferocious amount of enthusiasm, I bounded up the stairs and started getting ready. I tore myself free from the trappings of … Continue reading “return”
This looks familiar, vaguely familiar. My alarm goes off, and I can't. It feels like there's something far heavier than my flannel bunny sheets and blue fleece blanket pressing down on my chest. The contents of my brain and heart resemble the results of when I try to make a slow cooker soup from a … Continue reading it’s something that i’m s’posed to be